Etiquette, FAQ's, FYI's, BTW's and other random things i think you should already know, but just in case...

pretty please

i'll check mine if you'll check yours

(or something like that)

check your breath and your nethers!

FAQ #7

lunchtime availability fuhgettaboutit (unless i'm coming to your place)

bla bla, bla bla bllllaa blaaaa... ...discretion and caution... I don’t want a note "in my file". LOL

so, to sum up... as badly as I want to say "sure hon, no problem" I know i shouldn't make promises I can't keep.:)

which leads me to btw 12... more on that later;) stay tuned for more missydiculousness. lol

FAQ 151a

So... how come i still don't have access to your blog and new photos? i followed the directions like a good boy.

well, yes you did, didn't you darlin'?

but,... " I would like to see you jump through some hoops first! "

I do manually approve requests so i suggest you fill in the contact form or drop me an email introducing yourself."

or at least send me a note to remind me- after all- i ain't no spring chicken sonny- LOL

for real tho.... most likely, i ran a light background check and it was inconclusive, so rather than just grant a potential problem unfettered access because i'm a lazy whore, i decided to make you gain my trust a little.

(yes, i know that is a terrible run on sentence, but, i just couldn't stop myself;) LOL

so, if you're not sure what to do now... then [insert here whatever silly witty thought you might think i would say] and/or

send me a note & tell me where you found me and ask me to approve your request.

Btw i screen everyone thoroughly

faq 361

I've never met with a stranger with a web presence before. I don't have any references. Can I still arrange a date with you?

Well, of course you can sweetie! We all have to start somewhere. I'm newbie friendly for certain, but the screening process is a bit more rigid. Be patient and you might end up with a deliciously reputable reference-teeheehee- if you're a good boy;)

newbies - do your homework! be smart and be good:)

FAQ 151

How do I see what's on your blog page?
I'd love to let anyone see what i've got on there (it's quite yummy), But alas, I do run a bit of a circus around here and I would like to see you jump through some hoops first! hahahaha - just kidding!

Just enter your email address and choose a password. I manually approve all requests, so i suggest you fill in the contact form or drop me an email introducing yourself.

contact form

i love movies with talking dogs. also.... my favorite hoff is spongebob hoff

fyi i love the chickies too really! what's not to love?

feel free to bring the wifey along or send her alone for treat;) or ask me about some of my girlfriend adventures.... i'd love to reminisce and/or re-enact. check here to see about my double partners:) (playthings)

FAQ 97

I've read your reviews and they are so hot! i'm a little scared?

what if i can't live up to your expectations? (yes, i wrote that on myself;) lol)

they are hot! aren't they? and yes! in retrospect, i totally scare myself sometimes hahahaha!

i fret every minute until we meet that i won't live up to your expectations.

so here's what you do... imagine me in my underwear in a group of ...

back to our previously scheduled program;) lol

faq 97a: no worries, we'll have a nice time, i promise that i won't bite (unless ya want me to)

i lheart pirate speak.
me hearty

etiquette... you're obviously a gentleman with good tastes, so I'm sure you know how to mind your manners and follow the rules or you wouldn't have gotten this far...

if i have to remind you how to manage your basic hygiene, then you should move along...
please CHECK YOUR BREATH & please,please please let me know if i should check mine. i usually stick a finger in all the holes and taste em right before you arrive;) hahahaha! that's a funny visual t'ain't it?
please don't spoil the mood... by having me ask for your donation. and please, please don't just hand it to me. i'd prefer if, upon arrival, you would leave it on the table & excuse yourself to wash your hands. if you're not sure how it works, do some research, you'll be a champ! i'm sure of it!
please do be mindful of the time... if you book me for an hour, please don't keep me for longer unless you're willing to pay for the extra time... it's not that i don't wanna spend the extra time with you, but i do have a schedule to keep and if i have to rearrange my schedule or rush because i don't want to be branded a clock watcher... well, i'm sure you get my meaning... and really, it would suck for you if the previous appointment was you and you kept me from getting ready to meet you. that would (and does) really really suck for you (and me too) -good luck with that;) hahahahaha

in a nutshell

it's difficult to trust a stranger with the needs and desires of the nature in which i want to provide... i am totally more interested in fulfilling your needs rather than trying to guess what you need....

which of course leads to the debacle of when is it safe and appropriate to discuss what you really want.....

see: (likes and dislikes)

random thoughts and more silly missyness